If
you've ever made a mix tape for someone you care about, or connected
with that person through a shared love of music, then Rob Sheffield's Love Is A Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time will definitely resonate with you. The book tells the story of Sheffield's relationship, with his wife, Renée,
how music brought them together, and also how music helped him cope
with losing her, after her sudden death from a pulmonary embolism.
Each
section of the book is preceded by a list of the songs from a mix tape
that was an integral part of their time together. As Sheffield details
the story of his and Renée's time as a couple, the music on those tapes becomes a soundtrack to their courtship and marriage, and deeply illustrates the integral part music played in their lives. Reading Love Is A Mix Tape makes you feel like you're
having an intimate conversation with Sheffield about life, love, loss,
memories, music and of course, creating the perfect mix tape.
The book resonates with me because of my own experiences with my late wife,
as music and mix tapes played a large part in our lives as well. I met
Gloria when she was the roommate of a colleague of mine. My
heart was mending after a bad breakup, and she made me laugh with dead
on barbs aimed at my ex, who had unceremoniously dumped me. We
also bonded over our musical favorites, including The Beatles and Bruce
Springsteen. I later made her a mix tape featuring songs from her
George Harrison (her favorite Beatle) and some other music I knew she'd
like on the opposite side. That was the first of many mix tapes I made
her, and soon after, we started dating. As it did for Rob and Renée, music became an integral part of our life
together, and like Rob, I lost my
spouse far too soon.
Sheffield writes
about how a song on a mix tape can carry a memory, a moment, or define a
person, and I know exactly what he means. I can’t hear “Here Comes the
Sun” or “Thunder Road” without feeling my wife’s love for, or
connection to, those songs. Sheffield's mixes for Renée, like mine for Gloria, were love letters disguised as playlists. Love Is A Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time is
a moving, powerful, and emotional memoir, which captures the joys of
love, and charts the uneven rhythms of grief. Sheffield deftly moves
from humor to heartbreak to nostalgia, because that’s how memory works
when you think about someone you love.
A contributing editor at Rolling Stone, Sheffield has written several excellent books, including Dreaming The Beatles: The Love Story of One Band and The Whole World, but I think the powerful, moving, bittersweet, yet ultimately hopeful Love Is A Mix Tape is perhaps his best work. There is a sequel to Love Is A Mix Tape, entitled Turn Around Bright Eyes,
about how singing karaoke helped Rob heal again, how he started a new
chapter in life, and found new love. I look forward to reading that one
soon. But if you want to read a compelling story about how music becomes
embedded into our lives, and is deeply woven into the fabric of our
relationships, seek out Love Is A Mix Tape.